I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
