ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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