so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We're too hungover to prance.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
