...so i touched it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
