why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I AM VODKA MAN
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
