Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Everclear isn't food dammit
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
