is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I need to align my fucking chakras
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
