I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
