cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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