Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
