If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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