did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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