So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
