Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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