the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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