if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize