the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
