Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
