It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
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They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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