So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
