check it out our google latitudes are spooning
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
