I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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