no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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