You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize