well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
