His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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