He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
