I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
