But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
