his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
