that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
