he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
