Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
