I am in a vortex of obligation.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
