Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
