The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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