The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
