GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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