actually, I'm a sock model
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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