The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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