Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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