She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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