Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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