Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
