I wanna passion pit in your ass
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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