Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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