Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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