Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
