Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
