What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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