so explain again why im purple
no
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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