I will die if light touches me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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