OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
