I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
