I'm drive I can fine osifer
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
