She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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