We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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