sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I need moral support for this bender
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
