We need to rekindle our bromance
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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