I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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