well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
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I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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